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Jason Goes To Hell (2 for 1 Burger Sale)

from The Jasons (EXTENDED) by The Jasons

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Recipe for Jason Burgers -

INGREDIANTS:

1 of those little bottles of misquite seasoning (Mrs. Dash or some shit)

1 1/2lb of ground beef (or ground turkey for Jason V Impostor burgers)

1/2lb of provolone cheese

1 White Onion

Wheat buns (Throw all the bottoms away)

Catsup (packets stolen from McDonalds)

1 bottle of blue food coloring

1 bottle of red food coloring

PREPERATION:

Step 1 - Separate hamburger into 13 hockey mask shaped patties and cut out the eyes. (the excess burger can be formed into la hamburger replica of mother's head and placed in the middle of the table NOTE: DO NOT COOK OR EAT MOTHER'S HEAD)

Step 2 - Cut cheese slices into hockey mask shape. Cut out eye holes and mask vents.

Step 3 -Cut onions into chevron shapes. Soak onions in either blue or red food coloring depending on which Jason you want to make.

Step 4 - Heat you skillet and start frying up the burgers.

Step 5 - Once burgers are nearly done, smother only the top of the burger with mesquite seasoning (this makes it look all rotted and worm infested).

Step 5 - Cover the parry with the cheese hockey mask and allow to melt very minimally to keep the rigid mask texture.

Step 6 - Place the TOP of the bun face down on the plate (the top of the bun looks more like the back of a bald head and is the right color. if you want to simulate tufts of hair, then use an onion bun) and place burger on top. **This is an open-faced style burger, so throw the bottom part away.

Step 7 - Garnish with food colored onion chevrons and catsup blood splatter.

Step 8 - Eat the burgers.

Step 9 - Go fuck yourself.

SIDE DISHES -

No side dishes needed. Just eat more burgers.

lyrics

It started with a curse...

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from The Jasons (EXTENDED), released April 17, 2015

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the Jasons Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey

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